So I Leave for Europe in Exactly 6 Days...


SIX DAYS!

What do I have packed?

Nada. Zero. Zilch.

I guess the reason I have yet to pack anything is because it doesn't feel real. This whole idea was really on a whim.

One day, I left work and headed to the grocery store, for the first time ever wishing that it was my last time walking out of the office. I walked into work that morning and headed straight to the bathroom and cried, unsure of why I'd become so emotional and even more unsure of how to control it. I wiped my eyes, sat at my desk and found no motivation to do anything. Not only had I lost motivation to do my actual job, but merely being there felt draining. My only solace came from closing my office door and having non work-related conversations with my teammates and heading up for breakfast every morning.  I'd never felt that way before (if I had, it was fleeting), and for some reason, this particular feeling was too overwhelming to ignore. And since my energy is greatly affected by events and people around me, specifically the energy they give off, so I knew I couldn't sit with this uneasy feeling for long.

But still, I wandered through the Trader Joe's produce section, almost in a daze, picking up groceries that I later noticed I had no real use for. I felt my eyes well up. As I stood in line beside the man holding the "End of Line" sign, I received a text from my best friend Tiona.

"What. If."

Seconds later, a screenshot came through.

It was a story of a girl who'd broken up with her boyfriend of 7 years and went on an impromptu backpacking trip with her then roommate. 7 countries, 12 cities, 5 weeks. They went on this incredible journey and documented it all on this website they started.

"Omg." Was my only response.

"Jannaaaaaa. We so could. This is perfect timing. You're over New York."

She was right...I'd had many conversations with her about the possibility of my NYC love affair coming to an end, but didn't quite know how to end it. I was also (although she didn't know it at the time) reaching a breaking point with my job. Was this perfect timing?

We immediately began discussing logistics, such as how much money we'd need, where we could stay, and debating starting points.

"Let's start in Amsterdam," I said. "My cousin lives there so we could stay with him. Perfect kickoff."
"How much money would we need?"
"5 weeks? Longer?"
"How many cities?"

The wheels started turning, and I was so excited to run this idea by my mom once I got back to my apartment. Big on living a life of no regrets, she supported it 110%. Next was Derrick, who to this day has his reservations and concerns (and doesn't really want me to leave him for so long), but just like my mom, encourages me to live a life with no regrets.

This was on June 2nd. By June 20th, I'd solidified my decision. I hopped on Craigslist, various apartment listing websites and sent texts to everyone I know, starting the (dreadful) hunt for someone to sublease my portion of the apartment. By July 15th (or so), I put in my two weeks notice. By August 1st, my half of my apartment was completely packed up and I drove over the Verrazano bridge for the last time with a crowded car and tears streaming down my face.

It was the beginning of a scary journey, but one I knew I needed in order to grow into the person I'm supposed to be, free from the (unwanted) pressure that comes from bosses and colleagues and even some friends.

So, I leave for Europe in 6 days. 6 DAYS!

Because of the spontaneity of this trip, it still doesn't feel real. It still doesn't feel like I'm going. Like I quit my job. Like the material for this blog for the next few weeks will be my adventures in Europe with my best friend as we travel to 8 cities with nothing but a backpack.

But I'm ready.

2 comments

  1. This sounds amazing! I just found your blog through Instagram, and I look forward to hearing your journey through Europe. I dream of dropping everything and going on an adventure around the world, and I'm glad you had the guts to go through with it. Have a great time on your journey! :)

    Victoria Sallie
    www.onetravelbag.wordpress.com
    @onetravelbag

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thats amazing you are so brave! You are in my prayers!

    ReplyDelete

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